Keith’s Blog

In the Church but not OF it.

In two week’s time, I am hoping to preach on the subject of ‘In the Palace – but not of it’ as we wrap up our short sermon series on the book of Esther. As usual, I’ve found preparing for this deeply challenging, as well as highly stimulating, and hopefully by then I’ll even be able make sense of it to others!! But, as I’ve been reading and thinking about the latter chapters in this strange Old Testament book that doesn’t even mention God once in its text, I’ve sadly been reminded of this other, similar phrase that has haunted me for years now. I joke about it, of course. I’m often smiling when it comes from my lips. But for me, its use is definitely one of those times when ‘many a true thing has been said in jest.’

If I had to pick one specific moment when my newly-come-to-faith, childlike confidence in the Church was sacked and shattered it would be the first time I ever talked about it with my sister. She was, and still is, a wonderful, fun-loving, caring and generous person; the sort of person that is usually quite open to exploring the message of Jesus since much of what He has to say resonates easily within her own views and philosophy of life. We had grown up not going to any church so when I first came face to face with the truth about who Jesus is and what he has done for all of us, it was truly great news for me. Cringy as it may sound, over those first few years, I increasingly came to experience a freedom and joy in my life that I had never known before, nor had even been able to imagine. Telling others about God’s love for them was, therefore, not really much of a challenge for me, at least then. Just about everybody knew I had done the ‘God’ thing and, thus, when I went to England where my big sister had moved some years before, I was very glad to have the opportunity to tell her, too. I was very hopeful that she would quickly embrace this same faith that had so impacted my life. I was mistaken.

What shocked me, after our eventual hour long conversation, was not that she failed to become a Christian right there and then. Even then I had a small modicum of understanding about how life is. (No comments, please!) What shocked me was her reason for not wanting to know more, her basis for not feeling any need to explore this gospel any further. As I went to bed that night, what had shattered my newly found confidence and certainty about the message of Jesus was that the reason she could not accept this message for herself was that she had met Christians already, she knew what being a Christian meant, and her experience of them had led her to want to be a better person than that, a better person than those who were in the church!

Despite my having been born at an early age, and having been baptised twice shortly thereafter (they were clearly taking no chances with me!), my upbringing was essentially unchurched and I always imagined that the rest of my family knew as little about the Bible’s message as I did. We lived in a pretty tough place and had little in the way of comfort, luxury or even fun for much of our lives. So when my sister found the man of her dreams, and when the day finally came when he popped the question, it was one of the greatest moments in her life thus far. We all shared her excitement especially as her husband-to-be was such a great guy. But, as I discovered that day, when she went to her place of work, and shared her good news with her ‘born-again’ , twice-at-church on Sunday, always-leaving-Christian-tracts-around-in-the-office, supervisor, because her fiancée was a Catholic – we were very nominally non-Catholic- this is what she was told in reply: “You are marrying vermin and you will breed vermin!”

To this day, I can still hear the crack in her voice and see the pain in her eyes as she recalled her encounter with one of ‘Jesus’ people’. She had other stories to recount as well and each of them pointed her with great validity to a completely different conclusion about Christianity than the one I had reached. Not knowing anything about other followers of the faith, it turned out, had made my journey so much easier than hers. It was thinking about that rather sobering reality, that eventually led me to realise that despite the vital role and place of local communities of faith, despite our calling as a church to be signposts of the kingdom and windows through which people can glimpse that Kingdom, sometimes we do indeed need to be in the church but not of it.

As part of the ‘evangelical’ wing of the church, we pride ourselves on our knowledge and enthusiasm for the Gospel. We spend much time trying to figure out how to help other people discover the same glorious truths that we have found in it. “If only they would take the time to learn what Jesus’ life was all about, if only they could see that Christianity is not about becoming religious but is about another way altogether, then surely many of them would be glad to become followers of Jesus, just as we ourselves were glad.” What we fail to realise is that our families, friends and work colleagues have already been students of our faith for years. They have already been studying it. They have already been gathering information on which to make their own choices of faith. They have been watching and listening to us.

People are, and always will be, made right with God and released to live in His kingdom, through grace and grace alone. But grace cannot be advocated in its absence. People are genuinely watching those of us who claim to know this carpenter from Nazareth and in us they need to see this Word made flesh once more. In our behaviour, in our conversations, in our actions and reactions, in the way we respond to those different to and differing from us, they need to see something that points them to the truth of our claims about Jesus and which raises for them a question mark about what God could do in their own lives.

What my sister needs, and maybe yours too, is to meet some people who will share the gospel with her long before they have opened their mouths to speak of it. St Francis said to his community long ago, “Preach always! Preach always! And, if you have to, use words.” This is the advice we, too, need to follow. That way, we will be seen to be in the world and not of it.